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[quote=Anonymous]My line with my kids is you have to be able to support yourself in the style you want to be accustom to.  If they choose to take on 100K in debt and go into a field that wouldn't help pay that off quickly that is their choice to make.  That could translate into delaying having kids while they pay off student loans, renting for a long time or maybe always renting, moving to a lower cost of living location, having a really far commute, not having a big wedding, trying to get by on one car for awhile if married to save that cost, getting a second job, working until 70....   Part of being an adult is both making decisions for yourself and living with the consequences (good and bad). So I see no issues with marrying someone with 100K debt, making 75K and you not making a lot as long as you both agree on what the life together looks like and can both live with the sacrifices to get to your shared vision.

The potential in-laws being supported financially is a little more worrisome.  Part of it is you can't necessarily budget for other people's expenses, you don't know when and how much the amount requested.  The other is you can't control their choices.  I have a friend that her parents lived a better lifestyle than she did and she was helping them out financially.  Dad had to have the latest cameras, nice cars, had to live in a nice house etc.  I know giving money to family once you are married can be a huge source of stress unless you are financially comfortable enough to do so without impacting your own financial well being.  It also can be difficult when the recipient is an able bodied adult (like the fiance's sister). While this could be more headache than it is worth, some people live with in-laws as a way of providing financial safety for all involved, like the young couple may not have been able to afford the place on their own goes in with one set of parents and the live together , or grandma moves in and she helps with childcare.  If you really think it is that precarious financially with his parents make sure you guys discuss parents moving in with you guys versus trying to support a 2nd household. In general, if your fiancé has good boundaries with his parents and can be direct when he has to (I.e. Not make a decision to go along with parents  at the expense of his wife and children), you will be fine.  If he is t like that ...just read the family message boards to see what that is like.

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