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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I don't think it is actively preferring the children or in any way "classic narcissistic" behavior. It is, as may other posters have suggested, a comfort level thing.  It's like the old adage, "you're son is your son until he takes a wife, your daughter is your daughter for the rest of her life."  [/quote]

No.  You (and grandmothers who heed this) are making excuses not to pay attention to the son's wife and children.  We all know what is going on.  Especially if the son married someone totally different than the son's mom (on purpose, I might add).  The narcissistic MIL sees that as a personal affront - because, after all, "it's all about her (MIL)".

[/quote]

i am not a grandmother and completely agree with the first poster.  My mom does not take much interest in my kids and doesn't offer to take them.   My MIL on the other hand will want my kids for as much time as we are willing to offer.  Still, I prefer my mom because I know that crazy, kwim? I know how to deal with her and to communicate effectively with my mom.  I also know the relationship is strong enough to handle any rocking.  So, despite my MIL doing everything right and my mom not showing a whole lot of initiative, the adage holds true.  Just saying it's not a one way thing.  Us Moms and Daughters are part of the problem too (not just the paternal grandma).[/quote]

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