Reply to DD's Soon to be step-grandfather has a creepy vibe IMO. Trying not to prejudice child, but WWYD?

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Reply to "DD's Soon to be step-grandfather has a creepy vibe IMO. Trying not to prejudice child, but WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I like most of the advice here, and I think your pediatrician gave you great advice.

But, you NEED to talk to your ex about this. You don't have to accuse him of anything (he didn't do anything wrong yet) but you need to be on the same page about the phone. And he needs to know that you are serious about DD not being left alone with Pap. He needs to be told that you are freaked out by the extravagant gift without permission (maybe ask if he gave permission to start that off), and the subsequent text message, let him know that DD will not have access to the phone at your house (my ex bought my then 3yo an iPad. It lives at dads house 4 years later and isn't allowed in my house - I almost started WWIII over it).

If you can have this conversation in a respectful way (away from almost stepmom) you might get him on board. And stand your ground. Men don't have the same experiences most of the time as women do, so you may need to end with, "I know this is uncomfortable for you to think about, but I will send you some information about the cycles of abuse and how abusers start grooming their victims because it's almost always someone the family trusts and who knows the victim very well."

I'm assuming of course that your ex is a decent human who you divorced because it didn't work out, if he's an abuser then ignore that advice.

But if he's decent you HAVE to engage him in this conversation. He needs to know how you feel about it so that he can keep his child safe. And also because he will be the one supervising DD and Pap. [/quote]

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