Reply to Why do some parents choose not to do homework with their children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Assuming for the sake of argument that there is no value in homework in the early years (although the research on that is far more mixed than people like to acknowledge), it's still crappy parenting because it sets the precedent of only doing the things you find value in, regardless of what the expectations are of you. [b]Good luck to those parents in a couple of years when the homework does matter (either because of its recognized value, or because it counts toward a grade) and they're having battles with their kids who don't want to do homework and have had it ingrained in them that homework is optional.[/b] Hopefully you're able to work through that with them before it affects high school grades, college admissions, job prospects, etc.[/quote]

+1,000

This PP is right.

To the OP: Be sure you never do homework FOR your kids, and I hope that when you talk about doing homework "with" kids you mean helping them get ready, focus, decide what to do first, etc., and that you don't mean sitting next to them the entire time guiding each math problem or writing assignment. But do be aware of their homework, set aside a time that is just for doing it, have a place in the home that is free of distractions and siblings, etc. I get the frustration that other kids are not doing homework. If you are working with other parents' kids in school, there's nothing you can do about parents who are so uninvolved that they don't even ask their kid, "Do you have your worksheet to hand in today?" because, God forbid, that might be helicoptering. Just do whatever the teacher asks of you at school, and focus on giving your own kids, at home, a healthy respect for the teacher and the assignments.

I'm amazed at the number of posts on DCUM over the years from parents who clearly figure that whether or not homework gets done is 100 percent on their young, elementary-aged kids, and parents should have zero influence. It's also appalling to see the level of disdain for teachers' assigning any homework to elementary kids. As the PP notes above: This sends a message that homework doesn't really matter, it's a choice and not a requirement, and the parents really don't care about it--so why should the kids? I can only figure these are parents of elementary students, because once those kids hit middle school and homework is a huge part of grades in some classes, those kids are going to slam into a brick wall.

And mom and dad are going to wonder, gosh, why is junior is tanking? It will be because junior never learned to schedule and do his homework, never learned which work to do immediately and which can wait, never learned to study in any way that goes beyond re-reading worksheets.

Kids are not born knowing how to set priorities or organize themselves. Parents do have a role -- which many on here seem most willing to abdicate -- in teaching their children study skills, and in teaching their children to respect the assignments teachers give them, even if the kid (and parent) dislike the work involved.[/quote]

^^ Thank you.  I couldn't agree more.  I see so many helicopter parents around me and on DCUM raising helpless little brats who fall apart their first week in college; it's nice to see other likeminded people who believe in raising responsible, independent, and competent children.[/quote]

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