Reply to Can any DILs/MILs/SILs cop to bad behavior?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OK.  My FIL was visiting after the birth of my first child.  It was about 3 weeks postpartum and I'd had a C section and was really slow to recover -- climbing stairs was still a major event for me.  FIL kept asking for water (on the third floor when I was on the first), complained about the dinner I specially cooked, and was generally totally useless -- not even clearing plates after any meal.  DH was great and helping but I was exhausted from hosting.  I went to my room, cried, and refused to come out until DH sent FIL packing on a six hour drive back home.

In retrospect, we ended up driving at 6 weeks postpartum to a wedding in his town for BIL so why he felt the need to come is beyond me.  But I was probably a jerk. He still seems scared of me years later.  He's not my favorite (for other reasons, not evil, just not my kind of guy) but I try to be kind.
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Did you refuse to get water and explain why?

Why did you make dinner?  That seems like your own fault.

Did you ask him to help clean the table?[/quote]

What part of "copping to bad behavior" in the thread title did you not understand?  Sure it could have been handled better, that's the point.

You can't ask FIL to clear the table because he'd be offended.  He's old, and from a macho culture.  He expects a hot dinner every night.  which is why there was a hot dinner.  As for the water, DH got it after the first time and explained the issue.

I don't love these things about FIL but 75 year olds don't change and he is now too old to travel so it's moot. We see him 1-2 times per year for a restaurant meal these days.

More generally, if you want to complain about posters' actions, pick a thread where they aren't admitting their actions were bad.
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