Reply to In Laws invite DH's ex wife and child on holidays we don't have the child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - they were married for 1 year after daughter was born and then divorced. We got married 6 years later and have 2 kids. She has been very difficult demanding and limits access and everyone has been aware of this. Mil goes above and beyond for her and daughter. [/quote]

Omg, OP. DH has moved on and created a new family with you. Yet, you still begrudge this girl extra time with her grandparents because you feel 
"Slighted" ? Disgusting [/quote]

OP, I'm a stepmom, and I would be annoyed as hell at opening Facebook and seeing pictures of my husband's ex with his mom and dad and daughter on Thanksgiving.  Annoyed as hell.  I can't stand the woman - she is toxic, she has done terrible things to my stepdaughter, and I am lucky that my stepdaughter is grown now so we can have a great relationship with her without having very much contact with her mother.

That said, the fact that her mother is awful is all the more reason why I would swallow my annoyance and disgust and be really, really happy for my stepdaughter that she got to spend more time with our (DH's) family.  The more time with our family the better.  And if your MIL can navigate how difficult and demanding the XW has been, more power to her!!!

This is not a slight of you in any way.  (If they had been invited and NOT you, that would be a slight.  You weren't going to be there anyway.  By no definition is it a slight.)

The only halfway legit complaint I think you have is that this is the kind of thing that MIL should tell your DH ahead of time.  Understandably, she probably avoids saying something because it would cause a stink.  But it's not right for him to be blindsided by seeing his daughter and his ex with his family on Facebook.  That's just lousy - it's like being clobbered with an emotional 2x4 because it obviously brings up a lot of uncomfortable emotions.

If this woman is so bad, the more time your stepdaughter spends with your family, whether with her mom or not, is a good thing.  Try to be happy for her.[/quote]

Thanks for this.  And I see the point about being happy for DSD.  But the annoying and shocking part was not just pics of all of them, but ones with ex and MIL and SILs arm in arm.  With quotes about a perfect thanksgiving and love you all![/quote]

Different side coming out now, OP.  Are you jealous that the ILs like her?  [/quote]

Seriously--what is so shocking about a woman getting along well with and loving the mother of her grandchild?  She should pretend she doesn't like her so you won't be annoyed?  Grow up![/quote]

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