Reply to So upset my kid can't count to 20

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a troll because someone who is an ivyleaguesmartypants would know that developmentally most children catch up by the 3rd grade and the playing field levels.

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I wish I was a troll and not this upset. On most days, I tell myself that this isn't a race. I want to raise happy well adjusted children. My older child is in 1st grade and just learning to read. My younger 4yo can't count to 20. This is not a humblebrag post. I am truly disappointed in myself. I have no one to talk to. DH is on a plane right now. I am just feeling sorry for myself.

I know I should be grateful that I have two healthy children. Several of my gfs are suffering from infertility or never married or divorced. They are pushing 40 and having a baby seems to be priority #1 for them. [/quote]

I know this is a DCUM cliche, but find yourself a good therapist.

First off, you need and deserve having someone to talk to.  Everyone needs an outlet for their worries -- no matter how "ridiculous" or "silly" -- as well as support for dealing with them in a healthy way.  If your friends and DH can't meet that need for you, it's fine.  Sometimes it's actually better to work these things out with someone outside your daily life anyway.  That's what good therapists are for.

Here's the other reason you should talk with a therapist.  I know you know this, but your kids will never fit your preconceived notions of who or how they should be.  Not now, not ever.  It's just not possible for one (let alone two) people to read your most subtle and unarticulated desires and then live up to them.  So unless you get some help with letting go of that way of thinking, it's only going to get worse for you as the kids get older.  It's also going to cause your children a world of pain as they grow up.  So get professional help and sort yourself out now.  You can change this.[/quote]

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