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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"
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[quote=Anonymous]What I would like to know from that other thread is what the structure of that family actually looks like. Did she ever say? Do those teenage girls live with the OP and her husband at all? How long has the OP been married? How long has her husband been divorced? All of these things are relevant. A new stepparent coming in, making a lot of demands and changes to the status quo, and demanding to be included as an equal parenting partner is out of line. You don't know those kids. Their other parent has no reason to trust that you're acting in the best interests of the child, and that trust has to be built by listening and contributing. The OP found out about an expense that she personally thought was unreasonable, and her belief was that her opinion was the most important. Her husband should not have paid, because the OP thought the expense was unreasonable. It wasn't a question of "Is $150/kid a typical amount to spend on Homecoming gear?" but of "Is my husband out of line for making a financial decision I disagree with?" The casualty in all of this is her relationship with the kids in question. Yes, $300 is a lot of money for a lot of people, but the cost of thwarting the special event of a teenage girl, if you're a new stepmom, is a lot higher. Since clearly that family could afford it, it would be better to just make an occasion out of it, participate, take pictures, maybe get your nails done together, and use it as a bonding experience. That OP didn't do that. She made it about an extortionist ex-wife spending money on frivolous things for her daughters. [/quote]
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