Reply to Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?

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Reply to "Why do children of a first marriage get priority over the spousal relationship in a second marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a story for you OP.

My ex lives with a woman he's been with for years.  They are all but married except legally.  Woman purchased an expensive house.  Woman made my ex call me.

"Because the new house has a bedroom just for our kids (that would be, the guest room), I am reducing your child support by $300 a month."  The two of them decided that this money would be earmarked to defray the cost of her mortgage in exchange for the bedroom my kids sleep in four nights a month.

Now, my ex is a real jerk, but I could tell by his voice that he was extremely uncomfortable with this phone call.  He was doing this because the new woman made him.  He was doing this because he was putting her first, over our kids.

Of course CS doesn't work that way. You don't get to just cut it because your GF bought a house.  So I politely declined to have my CS reduced and that was the end of it.

My point, obviously GF is acting in her own self-interest.  It is not in the best interests of my kids to have their CS cut by $300 a month.  This would seriously impact their quality of life.

GF is a decent person, I don't particularly dislike her.  But I was really shocked that my children's stepmom would suggest something so selfish and absurd.  If she needs $300 a month that badly she shouldn't have purchased the house.

In my anecdotal experience, not all step parents can be relied on to consistently act in the best interests of the step children.  They do not all have the same degree of innate self-sacrifice that a nuclear-family or original parent hopefully has.  People are selfish.  [/quote]

That situation calls for a good lawyer to clarify child support issues, which are ongoing under the law.

If a child needs more support than is currently given, a court will order an increase in child support.[/quote]

Not really.  A lawyer was not needed because the financial situation of the parents hadn't materially changed.  The GF's financial situation is irrelevant.  A material change is if either parent's income goes up or down by 25%.  Or if the kids start spending much more time at non custodial parent's house.

GF buying a house doesn't cut it.  I simply reminded my ex that this was not a basis upon which the court order could be modified, and he caved.  He knew he was in the wrong.  He just did it to placate his GF.[/quote]

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