Reply to what happens to my brother when my parents die?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have read the whole thread.  People who do not deal with a delusional person on a regular basis really do not get it.  It makes YOU crazy, and oftentimes, the only way to deal with it looks like enabling.  My mother is deeply delusional and I have seen my aunt, a trained PHYSICIAN, give up on "fixing" whatever is wrong with her and just go along with her delusion, taking care of her financially and just accepting everything else.  You could, of course, just let things go and live your life, and in that case your brother will probably end up homeless.  I guess if that is something you can live with it is an option.  Two things-

1.  You are being too hard on your parents.  It sounds like you haven't really accepted that he is mentally ill, and that dealing with him as if he is a mentally healthy person (i.e. making rational, reasonable arguments as to why he should do X, Y, Z) is NOT going to work, no matter how many times you do so.  Dealing with a delusional person is extremely, extremely difficult.  There is literally nothing you can say or do to bring them down to reality.  You HAVE to play along, because this person is not living in the same universe as you.  Your parents are most likely not "enabling" him but are dealing with him the only way they can.  Pretend that you are dealing with a child- a very large, grumpy, crazy child.  Put yourself in your parent's shoes, it is a horrible way to spend your retirement.  His condition is also most likely deteriorating as the years go on, so that is another depressing thing.

2.  Plan, but don't worry.  Worrying is not going to get you anywhere.  Try to come up with some sort of plan for what happens when your parents can no longer take care of your brother, just don't expect their cooperation.  As long as your brother has the security blanket of his parents, he likely will not cooperate with you.  However, once his circumstances change, you will find that he will most likely contort his delusions so that he can keep a roof over his head.  And you will have to play along, saying "oh yes bro, since the court system is holding all your money, I guess you have to move into this apartment now!  Damn those lawyers!"  That's basically how it is.[/quote]

Or tell him the people at SSDI office are talking to the lawyers and you've found a way to get him at least some of the money he is owed, and that everyone will keep working at it to get the rest.[/quote]

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