Reply to what happens to my brother when my parents die?

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[quote=Anonymous]More common situation than you think.  Don't let him with you because it is quite 100% (not 99.9%, but 100%) obvious that taking him in is just going to drag you,  your spouse,  and progeny with him, financially.  In a worst case, but quite conceivable, scenario, I can see him killing himself after your parents die,  but taking people with him he finally gets fed up with the "unjust" people that have held him back for all these decades.  I'm not being paranoid either.  If he has nothing to live for AND a beef with people,  why not take people out.  If he's as delusional as you say,  what if he decides your children don't need to suffer with adulthood in this horrible unfair world? What if he brings illegal narcotics or whatever substance he abuses casually into your home?  What if he makes some enemies? He is a financial black hole, and God help you if he gets hurt in your house or gets hospitalized while living with you.  Is he a semi - functional (a true functional drunk has a job) drunk by the way?  If he's not already,  he eventually will be a substance abuser,  because his path allows for nothing else.

Besides,  if you take him in,  what are you REALLY doing different from what your foolhardy parents currently are doing? He will simply take everything you hand him,  and more. You have accused your parents of enabling him,  but are suggesting you will follow their same plan.  Honestly you don't even sound that close  to him, and this sounds more like a theoretical moral obligation of somebody trying to be "caring".

If he argues with you, you gotta put your foot down respectfully and say "I love you and respect your opinion,  but I disagree and you need to sink or swim on your own."

IF he is capable of surviving on his own and turning it around,  he will ONLY do so after he hits rock bottom.  The only question is whether he will hit rock bottom (a) quickly on his own or (b) after burning through and badly a damaging you and your family.  It is unfair to your children and spouse to put them through  this.  [/quote]

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