Reply to Bar Mitzvah for 10K?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel the same way as the pp. I would love to be part of the community, but being shaken down for dues, tuition, and then having to humiliate my kids by throwing a shabby bar mitzvah. No thanks. [b]I think American Jews need to rethink their approach to all this[/b]. [/quote]

Agreed. 
These extravagant parties are ridiculous in their opulence and make a mockery of the religious aspect of a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.[/quote]
I am in my late 30s and have never been to an extravagant bar mitzvah. All have been very low key. Can you please post what shut you belong to where people feel they need to throw extravagant parties? [/quote]

Synagogues in Rockville, Chevy Chase, Bethesda, Potomac, DC, N. NJ, Long Island, NY, Philadelphia (Chestnut Hill) and Main Line ...
I am in my late 40s and I have only been to extravagant parties for bar and bat mitzvahs. The services are usually lovely full of tradition and spirituality. But the parties that follow are embarrassing in their extravagance and focus on spending.[/quote]

I am the pp you were responding to. I belong to a shul in Potomac. The nicest bar mitzvah I ever went to and I have been to at least 30 in my life, was at a country club but it was not outrageous or extravagant. The majority were very low key. Mostly fun parties for teenagers.[/quote]

My experience with bar and bat mitzvahs have been very different than the PP even in Potomac. Most I have attended have been very extravagant affairs. Another trend I have noticed more recently and not just in the MD area is that a growing number of the invitees forgo attending the actual service in the synagogue and opt to attend just the party afterwards. Simply awful and hypocritical to what this Jewish life milestone really stands for.[/quote]

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