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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree that the nice cultural norm (even in AMerica!) is to reciprocate the invitation.  I often fail at this because my marriage is troubled and I have other problems that makes it stressful to have people over to the house.  I would love to have people over, but it's very difficult to find the "right time" for an invite because of the utter mess that is our life.  I don't think most people that know us know the extent of the problems. I do always offer to bring something.
So, just sayin' .... cut your friends some slack, because you don't necessarily know what's going on to prevent them from inviting you.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it's important to remember this.[/quote]

Ditto. Our family dynamic makes hosting things in the home very difficult and stressful. There are folks out there who love entertaining and when I'm invited I'm grateful, though social events can be hard for me. But I'm not going to reciprocate tit for tat. I will certainly find other ways to show my appreciation.[/quote]

My mother killed herself a few years ago, well three years ago. Life still takes a lot of effort, OP. I appear gracious and sociable because I want (desperately) to be the person I want to be, free of this stone of grief that sits in my home. I make myself do play dates for the benefit of the children. But I crawl into bed every night, exhausted from the day. Every day. Not many people know this piece of my personal history. I think it would help you to understand that folks have their own baggage, and you may never know why a dinner with friends may prove a burden to them. You sound like a lovely hostess. Please don't allow the perceived lack of reciprocation to dull your apparent joy for these get-togethers. Don't limit your love of a good time by counting beans, as the PP said. Sometimes in life other people need More. And, through your parties, you provide so much. Let it be.
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