Reply to Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?

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Reply to "Is the redhead kid who calls me dad actually mine?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP:  First, I would feel as you do; betrayed and foolish, perhaps.  But let's take this one at a time.

What is this "there are some questions that deserve an answer just because they have been asked"  nonsense?  Stop that.  Totally self-indulgent thinking.  Life isn't fair, and "deserves" doesn't apply here.

Now.  Think about what you want to have happen in the future.  If you leave DW you lose control of DS.  You just will.  Then your DW will be parading men in who will influence and affect DS (and other sibs).  So ultimately, it's about getting your head into a place that can accept the situation as-is.

If the results are that your son is not biologically yours, are you not staying with DW because of that new known fact?  That makes no sense.  You stayed with her when she cheated.  That the cheating caused your son to be born has no relevance.  OP, again:  You stayed when she cheated.  So you would not be leaving her for the cheating.  Maybe you should have, but you didn't.

So the only pivot factor now is the existence of your son.  If you leave your DW; your son will know it's because of him.  The existence of him.  It will cause him much self-loathing; probably really f him up good.  You may not realize how much--and that is because you are undervaluing the importance of a father and overvaluing the importance of a sperm donor.

So don't do this to him; you said yourself you love him.

I think you should imagine that your DS is not biologically yours.  Give it a week.  Realize that you can love him independently of the fact that it's not your sperm that created him.  Realize that you love him just as much, like people who adopt do.  [/quote]

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