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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do all of you who think that adult children should have a say in their widowed parents romantic life's believe that parents should similarly be entitled to mettle in your adult relationships, marriage etc?  [/quote]

OP never, ever once claimed she should have a say. In fact no PPs have either. They said it can hurt. Don't pretend like moving on to marriage after death very quickly is the same as a previously single parent having another chapter in their "romantic life". Its not.[/quote] Perhaps "having a say" was a bad choice of words, but plenty of posters expressed judgment, anger, hurts etc. when their parent found a new partner or "replaced" the deceased parent. Those same individuals would most likely be upset if their parents expressed negative emotions about their marriage choices or romantic life. Your grieving and their desire to try and a grab some happiness are not and should not be entertained--assuming we are talking about adults and not children who have recently lost a parent. Too many people on this site complain about clingy parents, or bemoaning the lack of food dating partners. If someone can find happiness after grief, no one should judge them. [/quote]

PP here with the dad who dated after 1 week.  Look, I don't judge.  I also don't care, which is where your theory of the universe tends to fall apart.  I am not interested in being a part of his shit show, and he and probably you and others with your happy Pollyanna view of the world, want to have me and other grieving children embraced the new person with open arms.  Just plain not interested and boy is he PISSED that I won't play along.

If you think doing so is not an insult to the memory of the deceased, you obviously haven't lost a parent you loved.  I get it, loyalty is dead, but imagine you dying and your precious children calling some new lady "mom" after a week--I mean, that is LITERALLY what was being asked of me and other people I know with similar situations.  If you haven't been there, YOU should stop judging.[/quote] In the course of my lifetime, I have list two parents that I loved--not one, two. I never begrudged my widowed mother her second chance at happiness.  My grief and her chance to start again were two different things, and I never punished her for my mental state or hers.[/quote]

Our dad also told the grandkids, including the ones grandma babysat and was extremely close to that this woman he just met on the internet was their new grandma so they were not to miss their old grandma anymore. Imagine how literally a four or seven year old would take hearing something like that a few weeks after grandma died. The kids we confused and heartbroken over this. Then, when we weren't ready to welcome her with open arms so soon after she passed, he was not allowed by her to see any of his children or grandchildren including baptisms and my sister's wedding or participate in any family traditions. She did a string of other things that showed no respect for the grieving family. Talking to other adults who lost their mothers, I have learned that this type of behavior is not uncommon. She was the fourth woman he proposed to immediately after mom passed and she knew it but didn't care. [/quote]

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