Reply to How do we get out of this circular argument? Joint DH and DW post

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the W needs to be willing to forgive.  If she's not, the whole effort is pointless.  I have a family member who was cheated on, spouse repented, they reconciled, but family member could never really forgive, and spouse eventually left because spouse felt that they'd be paying for it forever.  Both regretted everything, pretty much the whole way, and I think both continue to regret how it all worked out many years later.
So you really need to be able to forgive, or it just won't work.  Reminding him over and over again that he screwed up and making him beg for forgiveness over and over again is not a way to move forward.  He'll never really be able to adequately apologize, because, really, apologies can't make it right.  She needs to be able to forgive in spite of that.
That said, H needs to realize how hard this is for W to forgive, and realize that to be worthy of that forgiveness, he needs to never do anything even remotely like that again.  Cause it sounds like he won't get a third chance.
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