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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[quote]Anonymous wrote:I agree, OP. This has nothing to do with slut shaming, but rather teaching vulnerable youngsters that (a) how they present themselves matters and (b) we live in a pedophilic society that sexualizes and objectifies children, especially girls. Of course girls and women should be able to live free of fear of victimization, but this is the world we live in. It just makes sense to keep butts, vaginas, and breasts covered.

I prefer this sentence: [b]Girls and women should be able to live free of fear of victimization.   [/b]
  [/quote]
 
Yes. I also believe there should be no war and no poverty, but alas, we haven't put an end to them yet. 
So, in the meantime, I will teach my MS-aged daughter to dress modestly, so that she doesn't give anyone the wrong impression. And I will teach my HS son to do the same.[/quote]

Not the poster you're responding to. That's a valid choice, I guess, but I personally chose the exact opposite tactic. I believe that teaching my kids such a thing would simply be buying into and perpetuating the messed up way our culture treats such things, so I won't. I instead tell them the reality of what some people may think, or the impression some people may form based on different types of clothes, but I don't try to impose my modesty standards on anyone else including my kids. Instead I simply tell my children they can choose what they're comfortable wearing, but they need to understand the rules and expectations and the likely results of making choices outside of that. There's nothing wrong with pretty much whatever anyone wants to wear, in most cases.

What even is modesty anyway, or what should it be besides each person's individual standards of comfort? For some people, modest is covered from head to toe, others believe in covering their hair, or females not wearing pants, or skirts must be past the knee, or shorts must be fingertip length, strapless tops are ok versus spaghetti straps versus wide straps versus sleeves, no cleavage or some or totally nude on top is fine... these are all *someone's* standards for female modesty and appropriateness... and I don't have the right to impose my own personal standards on those who believe differently, so neither should anyone else. I actually kind of hate the word modest. It means little, objectively, but always gets so charged and frequently becomes sexist.

In general our house rule is the kids either have to obey the school dress code or make a stand to me for why it's wrong to do so, at which point if it's an ethical issue for them we will figure out an alternative somehow. That hasn't come up. They almost always follow the dress code and only very rarely violate it and take the consequences. [/quote]

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