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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OW here. If hating me makes you feel better, I can take it.
The wife called me. He had been lying to the both of us. I don't think anyone sets out to destroy anyone's family.[/quote]

OP:  You had luxury of knowledge or the luxury to obtain knowledge if you wanted to open your eyes instead of your legs.  Lying to you????? Have you never googled people?  did you meet any of his friends relatives or children?  Go to his place?  Call him at his home phone instead of his cell all the time?  Pick him up from work? Go to the office Christmas party?  Why not?

Now boo effing hooo you want to state that you're not the evil home wrecker everyone thought you were because you didn't PLAN it.  You didn't SET out to do it but at the hundreds of steps on the way to bedding him, there was never a small opportunity where you have might have had an inkling of the start of a thought - that you couldn't have just stopped or thought of someone else.  No, because you got involved, you selfishly ignored the consequences, didn't do any due diligence  to look at the reasonableness of his story, just accepted it because you got what you wanted.

In the mean time, I have had nightmares, panic attacks, I cry for no reason, my dreams of old age with my spouse and grand children have been permanently changed, I  have had to become a single parent, move out of my house which is up for sale, my kids changed school systems, they're all in counseling, I'm in counseling. The kids as heartbreaking questions that I don't know how to answer. During all this, I had to bury my mother.

Cry me a river.[/quote]
Why are you identifying  yourself as the OP when she states she *just* found all of this out, yet you are clearly much farther along in the process. Which is it?
[/quote]

I guess there are multiple women who don't think too well of their husband's affair partner.  Imagine that.  That this doesn't end up being a love fest where the wife gives her blessing to the OW and says " I know you were too idiotic to check out the inconsistent facts and you couldn't help yourself.  You really are a good person who was completely duped by that super clever married man.  You shouldn't have any pangs of guilt or remorse over how this ended up.  After all, you shouldn't be expected to feel bad when other people get hurt in events where you were a witless participant.  Go play with your Barbie, and don't play with the grown ups any more.'  It's clear that you don't get it and can't learn from this.  Wait until this happens to YOU.[/quote]

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