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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, OP, I feel for you SO much.  My DH is similarly passive and conflict avoidant when talking with his daughter.  She was a terrible HS student and he and his ex did not save for her education.  And as a stepmom you DO have a say - it's your household budget.  I was actually willing to take a huge chunk of our current joint income to pay for an expensive public junior college in VA, but DSD decided on community college[b] because her best friend wanted to get an apartment with her.  (then she promptly dropped out.  We since paid for two additional semesters that she ended up bombing, too.)

It's really cruel what your DH is doing By not leveling with his son.  But I hope he's not similarly avoiding conflict with you and planning to take out huge private loans in order to avoid disappointing his son.  Guilt is a powerful thing.  Hope you'll update us about what happens.[/quote]

I've never heard of junior college before: how does that differ from community college?[/quote]

It's essentially the same as a community college (confers associates degrees and has transfer agreements with 4-year colleges) but many junior colleges also have on-campus housing and offer more supports for students who aren't quite ready for a 4-year college.  There are a lot of expensive private junior colleges.  If you have the means, it can be a way to send a struggling student "off" to college but give them more support than a typical 4 year school would do.

The college we looked at which is a public junior college is Richard Bland College in Virginia.  (It's formerly the junior college of the College of William and Mary.)  It's just as expensive as a 4-year public college in VA.  So community college is the way to go if you want to save money.  But we considers Bland, frankly, because we thought the appeal of dorm life might keep DSD more focused on classes than community college would.  And to be honest it's a little of a face-saving thing among people who might be embarrassed about all their friends going away to school while they can't.  It didn't work out for us though, since our DSD was more interested in socializing back home.[/quote]

Thank-you very much for your reply as I never knew such an option existed. I'm sorry it didn't work out for your son, but I really appreciate the information.[/quote]

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