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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think this is a splendid idea and not crazy at all.  As for a 3 year old changing last names, there will be no problem at all with it.  The 3 year old may not even remember his old name in a couple of years unless you bring it up.  How many times do 3 year olds use their last name?  Do it now, soon.

DH and I both kept our original family names after marriage, but he considered changing his to mine because he has a strained relationship with his very small family and I have a much stronger, positive relationship with my large extended family.  That plus the fact that we both just like my family name better.  He decided against changing it, though, because his adult daughter from his first marriage carries his family name, and her mother has since remarried twice and changed her name again twice, so he didn't want her to feel somehow abandoned by being the only person to keep her name.  She's very traditional, though, so we expect she will take a husband's name upon marriage (as her mom has now done three times) so he may revisit the name change if/when she no longer has the name.

We gave our son my family name.  But if we didn't have positive associations with my family name, it would be lovely to choose a new one that we felt fit our family better.

Good luck to you and your husband.  He is strong and creative to have gotten through so much pain and be actively working on creating a better life for himself and your family.[/quote]

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