Reply to Christmas present for hard to please MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP, MIL actively cuts you and DH out of her life. The SILs blow you off about gifts, going out together, everything. MIL recycles gifts from your kids back to you. She lives five minutes away and sees you twice a year. She SAYS she doesn't need anything (read: doesn't want gifts from you and DH).

Rather than accept the obvious - DH's family wants to minimize ties with you guys - you keep pushing and keep pushing. You ratchet up the scale of gifts, you solicit gift suggestions from DCUM (and not as in "help me think of something simple and generic" but rather you're still looking to impress MIL, win her over, cater to her as if it would matter). You encourage DH to keep trying with his family. Why?

By hovering on the edges of DH's family's world you think you're being the good soldier maintaining the family connection. No, you don't want to admit if left up to them there would be no connection. As I said before, I think you refuse to let his rotten family "win" so you'll keep buying the thoughtful gifts and making overtures and thereby showing everyone involved what "graciousness" looks like.[/quote]

You never did answer these questions.  Why do you try so hard?  Why do you keep pushing this relationship when your DH and your MIL have indicated that it's not important?  What need of YOURS are you trying to fulfill by working so hard on this relationship?  It's clearly doing something for you.  Why do you try to rationalize the irrational?[/quote]

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