Reply to Popcorn Problem: how could this have been handled better?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Seasoned wife and mother here.

Young mothers tend to be control freaks - not a bad thing per se, but attending to the needs of a young brood tends to bring that out in some people.

The advice that I will give a lot of you probably will not register for a few years, but here goes.  If you want to have a good relationship with your DH and just a peaceful marriage, a lot of you need to learn to delegate properly.  My marriage is not perfect but this is a skill that I learned after a few years.  DH is pretty active with household stuff anyways, but if I ask him (not tell) him to do something, I do not tell him HOW to get the task done and if the task is done within reason, I do not critique it. Now if he really screws it up (which is rare) I mention it to him, but not in a negative confrontational posture.  One example is that my DH uses the dishwasher and I prefer to hand-wash.  Thus, I know that if I need him to cover the dishes, he is going to do it his way.  And if I want it done MY way, I should be prepared to do it myself.  I am just not sure it is constructive for a person or a marriage to micromanage to that degree.

Many of you are in the "pre-martyr" stage where you insist your DH is an idiot and that is why you have to do everything.  [/quote]

This lesson took me years to learn. It makes a huge difference in my happiness and his. [/quote]

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