Reply to Popcorn Problem: how could this have been handled better?

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[quote=Anonymous]I agree that this was but one event in a long history of others.  Is popcorn clean up a big deal?  Of course not.  But my guess is that you were rushing out to the next activity, your wife was feeling stressed and like the burden of everything falls on her shoulders.  You then walk out and instead of cleaning up the popcorn, you brushed it aside.  Not worthy of the reaction which any rational adult would agree -- but...I bet she will have her reason for the reaction if you discuss it now, after the fact.

As a PP said, this is more about each of your reactions to stress, anxiety, and at the root of most relationship issues, how you two communicate.

If you talk about this away from the kids and at a time when you are both able to think it through, I may help.  At the very least, you will learn what she meant by "clean it up" and you can explain your thinking as well.

I'm divorced, so I've been in a miserable relationship where I thought bad things every day.  I'm in a much healthier, happier relationship now.  In conflict with my BF, I am always thinking in the back of my mind, "he is not intentionally hurting me or acting like a jerk."  His motives are usually good and kind. It helps when he explains his reasoning, even if it sounds ludicrous to me at the time.  We listen to each other.  My ex, well, he'd do whatever he could to stick it to me at every turn.  So...are your motives on the up and up, are your wife's? I'd think about that and figure out what to do next.[/quote]

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