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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Clearly no one has thought about the fact that this isn't the relationship forum and I didn't want to get into details here. But since it seems to be a priority. We have been in a 2 year rut, we have had a trial separation, he has dated other people, we have been arguing and we have been having a very hard time romantically. However, we ultimately decided to give it our all and continue to work on things, which I'm sure many can relate is very hard. This is all while I made 40k-70k

The career I am about to begin will include 80 hour weeks, as I said before, I will have even less time to nurture our relationship, and my speciality has some of the highest divorce rates. I've been being warned by my colleagues, though mostly men, and I am thinking it is something even a woman should be prepared for.

I said divorce is a realistic outcome because it just is given the state of our marriage, his lack of ambition is not the sole source of our problems but it causes a mental block for me to think of him the way I think of a traditional marriage. I did not say I want to divorce for someone better. If anything I'm worried about being taken advantage of and wondering if he has only decided to stay because of the potential earning, if he is staying with me because of that or if he will soon want a divorce, and if either of those are the case what should I be prepared for.

As far as the relationship dynamic, yes I do value ambition and hard work, that's who I am, and that's also why my DH has been drawn to me over the years he has said it many times. I am a hard worker and don't settle for anything less. Why am I being vilified for that when he wanted the same things and received it and there isn't anything wrong with that? As I said before if 100k was what we both believed he would earn and was in the path we always discussed, I would be happy. We always knew I would make more, but to see him put the brakes on his goals, for seemingly no legitimate reason to me, I don't know what to think of it.

Constructive criticism is welcomed, but I don't think any blatant judgments are warranted. [/quote]

You will be your own worst enemy, sabotaging your own family stability and your own freedom of professional hours, mobility, flexibility precisely when you need to demonstrate those attributes most to your employer to justify your new, highly compensated status within the organization.  My personal theory is that you have already met a richer, more ambitious co-worker with whom you want to move on.  Go ahead, do so, and in a few years get back to us with your laments about how you did not recognize the support you had, and the stability you valued, all of which made your career success much easier, until it was gone.

Go forward with the divorce. The long hours put a big starin on the relationship and if you wait you will be paying mega dollars.[/quote][/quote]

Wow. I hate to disappoint, as there seems to be a yearning to make me into as big a villain as possible, but there is no one. No potential, no thoughts, nothing. It doesn't take an OM to make a marriage struggle, I hope you realize. Lol it doesn't even make sense, really think about that though any man in the same circumstance as I am, is most definitely married, with a SAHM at that! [/quote]

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