Reply to When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?

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Reply to "When did you decide it was time for an affair and did it help your marriage?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my post may get lost here but I hope it doesn't. First, you need to decide if you are unhappy enough to want to end the marriage. You are not wrong if you say yes, sex is part of every healthy adult. Either your wife doesn't realize how unhappy you are, because you've not told her ina language that she can understand, or because she doesn't care. You haven't taken away anything she values in order to make her wake up and care. She has the house, the kids, and a husband who wants her, so why should she stop doing what she's currently doing? You need to sit her down and calmly tell her that you are at the point of a divorce if she won't willingly have sex with you. Tell her whatever you feel. Urge her to get a full physical, including her t levels checked. Low t effects women too, it just isn't openly talked about. Offer counceling, even a sex therapist. All these professions are in business for a reason. Remind her of that. If she says "But I just couldn't" or "Everything is fine, deal with it you animal!" then divorce her. If you cheat, she can and probably will get you for adultery. That's expensive in terms of the $$$ amount. It also makes you look like the bad guy "But Sally is such a lovely person, can you believe he screwed around after all she does for the kids?!" Also, if you don't divorce, the woman you want to see will fade away. She'll either work things out with her husband, or she'll divorce him and be with someone who wants a full healthy relationship, not just sex whenever you both are horny and can sneak away. This then means that the pool of women you can find will be shallow and unhealthy, i.e. women you as a healthy functioning man do not want to touch. Your kids will be fine no matter what you do. Love them, treat them well and explain to them when they ask questions, meaning you don't have to say "Your mom won't f***k me" but you can say that you felt unloved. Kids are sensitive to the temperature of a marriage. They don't need to know how often mom and dad are getting it on, and hopefully don't want to know, but they certainly know if mom and dad are in love, however they define it. Judy Blume and Beverly Cleary demonstrate this very well in all of their books. Read a couple to your kids and think about if your marriage is missing affection and love as well as sex. I'd bet you it is.[/quote]

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