Reply to How to be a Great MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the main things are some of the things others have mentioned.  Not being critical of the DIL or SIL.  While my parents don't treat my husband as a long lost son (that's not their personality and if they did I that would mean unasked opinions from my mom), they do give the impression that they are happy their daughter found a great spouse and vice versa with DH's family.  You know DH's family loves him and my family loves me BUT we joke that the parents like the other better because they are complimentary of the spouse when talking to their kids and inclusive with the DIL/SIL.  I always get emails with pictures my in-laws take of the kids, sometimes before DH. My mom will correspond with DH as well for her visit plans, especially since he volunteers to pick her up from airport and has sent him Father's Day and birthday cards/gifts on time.

I would say the rest has to do with being considerate and it being a two way street.  My parents aren't in a financial postion to pay for meals etc and at the same time I think it's part of why my mom doesn't like to go out to eat.  She will ask for certain groceries and make food for the kids and encourage us to go out and have alone time.  Both set of parents know how busy we are with work and kids and they may think of activities for the kids that help us out, like researching a new park, or getting a  recorder because our kids showed an interest in music.  The key is it is never over the top or puts more work on us.  I also love that they give the kids attention, not just have them entertaining themselves the whole time.  That said, we don't see our parents as the nanny.  If they have been entertaining our kids all day, we know they need a break and expect they will go out without kids, may want to retire to watch t.v/relax when they are home, don't expect them to cook/ clean the house/do laundry,/wash all the dishes.  They are in their late 60's and if we run out of energy running around after our kids ...  If my in-laws invite us on vacation and we are staying for free, it is expected their son will offer to pay for groceries/food as you would if your friends invited you to their beach house.  Sort of the rule of don't offer what you aren't happy to do (no being a martyr) and you don't take advantage of someone being nice and expect people will continue to go out of their way.[/quote]

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