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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If I am ever a mil I will remember what is was like to have a mother in law who sees our choices to do things differently than her as a personal affront.  My husband and I love to do things together it doesn't really matter what as long as we're together. Her marriage isn't like that which is fine, but we aren't "wrong" just because we do things a different way. I cloth diaper and make my baby's food. Both things she tried and gave up so obviously I wouldn't follow through either. We are perfectly happy with one child but three is obviously the perfect number because that's how many they had! My children's lives are theirs to do what makes them happy even if it isn't what I'd choose :)[/quote]

I agree with this completely.  I feel like any of the attacks on DIL are MIL's like this one.  It really is obvious.

Clearly, it takes two, but how much is too much?  I feel like I am busy trying to raise kids, and it would not kill her to be helpful instead of entitled.  She has been there, she lives closer than my family; but she makes no effort and just seems so jealous, or thinks we somehow have it "easier" than we did, or something I can not put my finger on.  The negative feelings are there, glaringly.  I mean, shouldn't each generation have it slightly "easier"?  Isn't that a good thing?!?!   :shock:

Anyway, it is not up to me to analyze her.  I get it, she is bitter and her husband was never (ever) around; and when he was, they hated being together, just like PP mentioned. Enough of us DIL's have to live with a bitter MIL that somehow feels wronged by her own life.  DH was never taught to be compassionate, kind, loving, and all of the things she failed to deem "important".  I have never once heard MIL say anything nice about me or DH, only to go over the top about random strangers.  I had tried to be nice, and it only opened me up for the abuses that were thrust upon DH as a youngster.  "Oh look, a new scapegoat!"  No thanks.

So in line with this thread, how do I wish to be a great MIL?  I want my son to be loved so much, like DH is loved so much.  I hope to follow their cues and not take "well, I don't interfere" - to mean that I don't bother.  For crying out loud, it won't be hard to step it up.  I could start with wanting to see my local grandchildren more than a few times per YEAR.  Was motherhood that awful for her?  Is that somehow my problem?  But I digress.

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