Reply to H doesn't understand why he shouldn't sleep with other women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dude obviously wants something sexually. He has condoms and talks about "what if" scenarios (and had probably already had them). Everything about this screams sexual, but you want to ask a message board what to do.

Either divorce the fool or give what he wants so he doesn't feel the need to look elsewhere for whatever it is he wants to experience.

He probably feels age catching up with him and doesn't want to die never having experienced things. [/quote]

Married woman here.  I started cheating because H told me point blank he wouldn't do something pretty normal that I really want. His reason was that I never used to want it. I said that people change. He won't. So I have someone on the side who loves to give me exactly what I need. Been seeing him on and off for 9 years. No emotional attachment but fills this one particular need I have.[/quote]

This.  So many "monogamous" (read: basically getting everything they want) partners here who want to say the partner whose needs and desires aren't being met should just "suck it up" because "they made a promise".  I'd love to know the full backstory on this; how long has hubby been expressing frustrations with the sex life?  And no, I'm not asking about specific acts, I'm asking in general; there are a TON of high libido people who want nothing more than plain old vanilla missionary.

My ex-wife was shitty in bed, had very low libido and very little interest in improving it or changing it; when cajoled and badgered enough, she'd acquiesce to "get it over with" sex and the issue was frequency, variety and above all passion.  She also had that "you promised monogamy and I can't handle even the idea or hint of anything else".  So, I respected her wishes and divorced her and got the sex I'd been starving for.  Sorry, we only get one life, I'm not wasting mine on someone who won't even try.  And yes, she was different before the marriage; I married her foolishly expecting things to change; they actually did, but for the worse, not the better.

If the marriage is otherwise good, and neither of you actually wants a divorce, you might try to reframe it in terms of something like a bowling league and pursue a don't-ask-don't-tell policy.

Otherwise: as everyone else says, just go ahead and get the divorce. [/quote]

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