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[quote=Anonymous]Agree with all the PPs that you cannot take in your brother and his family.  As far as his behavior, I recognize a lot of it from my brothers and my mother.  It's a long tragic taie but long story short, I know understand why they were the way they were.  After my own boys (and DH) were diagnosed with ADHD/depression and I learned the many ways in which they could express themselves, I finally understood why my brothers were such under-achievers.  I was shocked when it was suggested my boys might have ADHD because they didn't 'look' like what I thought it was.  But, their inability to plan/organize, lack of initiative, foresight and ability to delay gratification are classic.  For the first 40 years of my life, I couldn't understand why I turned out so different from them. The only think I could figure was I was more willing to sacrifice and work harder.  I was wrong.  They are willing to sacrifice and work hard but what comes so naturally and easily to me does not to them.  They not only have to be taught these things, they have to learn it repeatedly and have it ingrained in them.  Instead of bailing my brothers out, my mother should have helped them identify long term goals and break them out into the small steps needed to achieve them.

Whatever your brother's issues are, he definitely need assistance with that sort of thing.  Focusing on the larger goals will only intimidate and overwhelm him. The long term goal is to keep his family intact.  The short term solution may involve splitting them up.  But, you should not do anything that jeopardizes your own stability. Hugs.[/quote]

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