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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Looking at saving a marriage. Can it and should it be forgiven? I would like to forgive...[/quote]

It's a very complicated question.  I cheated many years ago, and my husband forgave me. It's clear though that he never has and never will forget, and things will never be quite the same between us.

On the other hand, painful as it was, it got us talking about what had gotten us to that point.  Also made me realize that I thought we were communicating, but we were not. Not at all. My husband lives in a very literal, direct world.  I couldn't say something like, "I'm not happy with our love life. Don't you feel like we're not connecting well lately?"  Those two sentences mean nothing, absolutely nothing, to him.  In counselling, I learned to talk to a guy, as embarrassing as it was for both of us.  I had to learn to speak excruciatingly direclty, in a way I  would never speak to my mother or any other female, for that matter.  My husband needed step by step information about why I was unhappy, unfulfilled, etc.

Part of the recovery process was me learning to accept that he wouldn't ever fully satisfy me.  That's a hard lesson to swallow.[/quote]

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