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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

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The part I don't understand is how do they think other people do it?  Do they really think they've been dealt a crap hand and everyone in their life is a horrible human out to get them?  Do they not realize that most people are not estranged from all their family members and long-time friends?

That's the deal with the borderline in my life and I just don't understand how she doesn't see that there's a problem.[/quote]

You also don't understand that their reality is different than yours.  They don't/can't see things the same way as someone without the disorder. Their brains don't work the same way.

I wonder if some are thinking they know people with borderline personality disorder when the actual problem is something else.  Bipolar, severe depression, sociopathy even.

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That's what I think too. You people are describing sociopaths and narcissists and calling them BPDs.[/quote]

Once one understands BPD, one realizes just how needy these people are.  They are not consciously manipulating people like narcissists and sociopaths.  Yes, they lie, but do so to protect themselves, not to hurt others like the other personality disorders do.  Their state is quite pitiful and well summed up by the title of the book: "I Hate You, Please Don't Leave Me."  A statement like this would not be made by a narcissist or sociopath.

Many of them do go into therapy, but drive their therapists to the edge because they call them incessantly with all their insecurities and suicidal inclinations.  In DBT the therapists for a BPD person must be available for them 24/7.  This is hard work.

Being the partner of a BPD person can be very difficult, and I agree that in many cases the best course is to just leave because the drama and upheaval can be overwhelming. That said, there are ways one can learn to manage the BPD behavior to avoid eliciting the extreme reactions.  They need a lot of validation, and that can be exhausting.  Parents have no choice but to do this with their BPD children, but partners are more than forgiven for just opting out.
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