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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is insane. OP already stated that spanking is rare and used only for big events.  For something like this, I would want my child's first reaction when contemplating doing this again to be "oh, no my folks will KILL me".   [b]We don't need to have all kinds of "understand his motivations" or "validate his feelings of anxiety".[/b]

This isn't really about trust on either side.  I would be furious at my kid and want him to understand that this behavior is never acceptable. I wouldn't really care WHY he thought it was unacceptable.  And I would keep that kid on a tighter leash. [/quote]

I would want to know those things, because my kid is a really good kid, usually, and doesn't need threat of punishment to do the right thing.   He's a member of our society (our family, our town) and I want him to behave and do the right thing, not due to fear he'll get caught, but because it is the right, moral thing to do.

So it would be very important to me to understand why he did this.  Because you can't teach a child to do better until you know why he did poorly.[/quote]

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