Reply to More Attractive: Asshole Jock or Respectful Chess Nerd?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guys get mixed messages about what women want. And when I say what they want, I mean "what they want in a guy with whom they'd like to have sex."

For example, in high school and college, I was peppered with messages about treating women with respect and as equals. But my observation was that they'd primarily seek out, dote on, and flirt with the jocks, regardless of whether those guys treated them respectfully and as equals. Now, I know, ideally, a woman is probably going to want a confident, athletic guy who treats them with respect and as an equal. But, when push came to shove, the women I knew would pick the confident, athletic guy who did not treat them with respect over, say, the shy chess nerd who did treat them with respect and as equals.

It's been a long time since I was in high school or college, so my observations would be so much ancient history. I am happily married and not looking to attract anyone but my wife. However, I've seen the debates heating up lately with feminists on one side and Mens Rights Activists on the other side. Feminists are pro-equality and respect. MRAs are saying, "bullshit, women are attracted to assholes." It's of some importance because when guys like myself are taking sides in the culture wars and on decisions of politics and policy, we (or at least I) think that feminists have the better rational position. But, on an emotional level, think that women aren't really being fully honest about how they want to be treated by men. And so, the MRAs have some resonance when they suggest that, while women say they want to be treated as equals, what they really respond to is strength.

So, what's the deal with picking the bad boys and the asshole jocks over the nice guys? I'm convinced that the MRAs are primarily misogynists and assholes. I would like to also be convinced that they are wrong about what women truly desire and find sexually attractive. [/quote]

respectful vs. asshole is not the only relevant dimension. this is what "respectful" nerds keep forgetting. if the nerd is attractive, then, yes, he has the edge. but if asshole is more attractive - well, it depends. but you do understand that, ceteris paribus, more attractive guy has an edge on a less attractive guy. somehow men keep forgetting about this little thing, while relentlessly pursuing attractive women only.[/quote]

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