Reply to S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?

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Reply to "S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just curious, what other things did your stepmom do over the years to create this issue?  My stepkids didn't attend our wedding (it was destination with no kids) but I would hope that this wouldn't scar them.  They only saw DH a couple of times a year at the time.  Now that we have our own child it is a struggle to balance our everyday life and the times that they are with us - things to include them in, things that we can do on our own, etc.  I am constantly looking at the calendar to figure out what dates work for visiting my family or things we can do while we're all together.  Getting invited to events for our toddler during their weekends with us is also a problem as they're 10-11 years older and either aren't invited or wouldn't want to go.  Struggling to include them as it can't always be done.  [/quote]

Well you sound like you are not an evil step mother, but you did sort of start off on the wrong foot by excluding them from their own father's wedding. Surely you could have picked some other venue that accommodated children. As for now, just simplify your life when they are with you. Your toddler does not need to go to "events" that would require excluding the older kid. Or you go with the toddler and let your DH have alone time with his kids.[/quote]

Definitely don't want to be an evil step mother.  By events I mean birthday parties of kids his age, etc.  When he starts school he'll likely play soccer or other sports  that will continue to require our time - or are things that DH will want to do with him and not me.  I'm supportive of stepkids having alone time with dad, but it sucks to separate every other weekend with me chasing after toddler and taking him to activities or park, library, whatever (staying home all day with an active kid is not an option)and not behave as we normally do - go to swim class together and then have breakfast with other families in the class for example.  Hard to find things we can all do together and I predict it will get harder as they become teenagers - though most teenagers don't want to spend time with their parents anyway.[/quote]

There's no requirement to do everything together. But you just can't make everything revolve around your child. That means that, no, you will not be able to spend 10 hrs/weekend at Jr's travel soccer games. And your step kids should get equal time to do activities planned for them.[/quote]

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