Reply to How would you handle this with your MIL? Threw out all my baby clothes.

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Reply to "How would you handle this with your MIL? Threw out all my baby clothes."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]just wondering -- is it spiteful bitchiness, or just kind of an ongoing/permanent immaturity?  my mom (age 82) all of her life has told little lies, re-remembered things to her convenience, changed her arguments, logic etc in midstream to always be in the right. meanwhile, she's not trying to be bitchy or spiteful etc.

imo, she just takes everything personally, thinks it a HUGE deal to simply say and be sorry,[/quote]

This sounds right to me. OP, it sounds like you triggered your MIL's defense mechanisms and you found out that they extend past the point of reality. Her behavior indicates a person so damaged that she will not allow reality/facts/logic/testimonials to get in the way of preventing any further damage, such as the shameful feelings she would normally have for throwing away sentimental items.

This may not have been particularly directed at you (a sword) so much as it was protecting her (a shield). In terms of why she threw them away, she may be narcissistic and so other people's needs just don't cross her mind (makes sense if she's consumed with the task of protecting herself).

I think this is a big deal, but what is interesting to me is something that none of the other commenters have mentioned yet -- now that you know she is this kind of person, doesn't that cast your husband in a different light? Somehow I doubt he is well-adjusted after being raised by this person. You two both need to work together on what M/MIL has done to him all these years, too. [/quote]

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