Reply to Queen Bee Mom unhappy with me and I'm afraid my kid will pay the price

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Consider it a blessing. Now you are free from caring what she does because it doesn't matter what you do. Always act as if your child were watching you from a potted plant in the corner -- always act toward QBM in a way you wish your child would emulate. Know that most moms don't give a flying YOUKNOWWHAT about QBM and her antics. Just seek them out. It is harder to find them because they don't gossip about each other or other people's children.[/quote]

This.  My oldest is now in 6th grade.  When he was in K, I dutifully joined the PTA and started to attend meetings only to discover the Queen Bees and the cliques.  The PTA was, to me, surprisingly unwelcoming and in those early years minority parents never attended the school - which is surprising since it's a majority-minority school.  I didn't do as much with the PTA as I could have but I didn't completely pull back because, corny as it may sound, I believe in it.  Any time a new person showed up, I welcomed them warmly.  A few moms similar to me had historically done a few event and I joined them.  Those events went really well and drew more volunteers.  The events run by the QBs were less successful and required the QBs to work harder because no one liked working with them. Now, 6 years later, there's been significant change and I like to think I'm part of it.

Although the QBs really pissed me off, I approached it like the above poster suggested.  It wasn't that hard for me, I think, because I grew up with a lot of trauma in my childhood and I learned at an early age how to handle this kind of behavior - there wasn't anything these QBs could do that was worse than what I experienced at home.  Although there are better ways to learn the lessons I did, I'm tough, resilient, confident and know there's far more to life than what the QBs think there is.  I can already see my kids learning through the behavior I'm modeling.

I can't stand those QBs but they really don't matter to me and what I'm trying to do.  If my kids get frozen out because of it, it's a life lesson for my kids.  I work to show them how they can mitigate the effects of the QB kids.  Unfortunately, this behavior does end in ES.  They'll be encountering QBs their entire life.[/quote]

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