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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here:

1. I love my MIL and don't have any underlying/hidden issues with her. This isn't a question about loving her.  I am extremely thankful for her.

2. By "we" I mean that my husband tells her to stop kissing the baby in the face because he feels the same way if not has stronger feelings in this regard. I have told my mother the same thing so it is not an issue isolated to my MIL.

3. Yes he is/will be exposed to germs they are unavoidable. But he is a freaking newborn people!!! I feel strongly about the baby not getting sick so early on in life (2 weeks). Kissing the baby in the face and passing on God knows what IS avoidable.

4. When the baby is older (Has a more mature immune system) I don't have as many issues with the kissing.  But do find that 10 kisses within a span of 30 minutes is smothering, I personally would not like it.

5. My MIL wears red lipstick and heavy and nauseating perfume. The baby stinks like her perfume afterwards.

6. I am the parent and it's my job to advocate for my child's rights. Since I wouldn't like to be kissed on that way why would I subject my child to that?

7. Affection and love is not measured by kisses!!! Find another way

8. The issue I am having is not hormone related. And I have been sleeping just fine actually my baby is and has been sleeping through the night.

Another reason why I would like to keep it that way by avoiding him getting sick from unnecessary touching!!!!!

9. I find it odd that I have to ask people not to kiss him in the face. I thought it was common sense. I did not behave this way with any 4 of my nephews when they were first born no matter how cute they were. Control yourself!

10. My husband and I have a loving respectful relationship. He is not shallow and I do not withhold intimacy.  
[/quote]

OP, I think you need to talk to the pediatrician about the risks that you perceive through contact with others. If you really believe  what you have written as to the risks to your infant you are sadly mistaken. Do you know that one of the easiest ways of spreading infection is just by someone touching the baby's hand - after all, with most infants that hand ends up in the mouth. If someone has a cold or is carrying any kind of virus - even without being aware of it - they don't even have to touch the baby - just coming close to the baby and breathing on him/her is enough.

One of the most revealing comments you made is this: [b]"Since I wouldn't like to be kissed on that way why would I subject my child to that?"[/b] [b]The difference is that you as an adult can establish limits as to how much contact you would like with anyone. [/b]It is totally bizarre to establish similar limitations with the baby and its grandmother, siblings, father, etc. BTW, you as the mother have the right to do whatever you deem appropriate but if you post to a public forum asking for feedback then don't be surprised if people point our that your actions are out of line.

You say you have no problem with kissing but it is the frequency of kissing within a time span that is the problem. Well, that one kiss may be enough to infect your baby - it does not need several.

But more than anything else your reason for wanting to limit that sort of close contact is not medically supportable - you would have to insulate the child from pretty much all contact of any sort. [/quote]

I'm with OP.  this is actually why it is up to the parents to establish limits and boundaries for the child -- because infants can't advocate for themselves.  and MIL does sound smothering.

beyond that, OP's husband told his mother not to kiss the baby on the face so much.  The thing is, even if you think a parent's request is entirely unreasonable, you don't have a right to just override it.  I think too many people assume that being the grandmother means they don't have to listen to the parents.  If OP is uncomfortable with grandmother MIL smothering her baby, then grandmother MIL is the one who has to adjust.

I'd probably do the same as OP and just subtly dial down how much time the baby spends with Grandma Smothering Kissy-Face.[/quote]

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