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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you might be surprised by what she ends up capable of doing. I have an adopted brother who sounds similar:  low average intelligence, plus some LDs. He struggled at a state college but made it through and now is doing incredibly well in a job where his empathy and people skills really matter. Some similar issues for him, in that everyone else in the family is a super-high-achiever, ivy league schools and tall that. But he is happy and making a very decent income for someone his age. Not everyone is going to be a rocket scientist, but i wouldn't asume your DD won't similarly be able to find a niche in which she is happy and self-supporting and contributing to th world...
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Okay here we go, this is what I am looking for!! SO can you tell me, do you know how your adopted brother navigated his options when he was about to graduate high school? How did he decide between college/no college/community college/working, taking a year off, etc...did he use school guidance counselors, or talk to people at colleges, or what?
This is my point, I just don't know where to go to look. I come from a long line of educator parents (teachers and professors) and siblings who just knew the path that was required from the age of about 5!!! It wasn't a question, it was a given.
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OP, this is the PP who wrote about my younger brother. He does tend to rely heavily on family for advice and moral support-- i don't know how open your DD is to your advice, but my brother has always been pretty open to taking advice from his family. My parents really pushed him to go to college and get a four year degree. In some ways I've often thought they pushed him too hard academically, but-- he made it, with a lot of assistance from them and from his college's learning support center. He made extensive use of their tutoring services, counseling, etc. The toughest thing for him were the math and language requirements-- he ended up withdrawing from those classes a few times because he was failing, and he finished college in five years as a result. But he kept at it. He is now in a public sector social services job-- he works with at-risk kids. He struggled a bit initially with all the paperwork requirements, whuch are very heavy, but he really loves working with kids and I think he has a lot of insight and empathy, as well as a huge commitment to helping.

I have actually also often thought he might be a good fit for some military jobs-- not as an officer, perhaps, becuase there too you need to be very on top of details to succeed-- but in some specialized enlisted roles, eg, Navy or some such: needless to say, the military has chefs, photographers, mechanics, medical assistants, you name it in addition to people in combat fields, He likes and needs structure, likes and needs feeling like he is part of a team, etc. He just wasn't interested in going in that direction, though.

I sometimes think my parents should have let him make his own mistakes more. I watched from a distance and sometimes felt they just did not give him enough credit: they were so convinced he would fail if they did not tightly control and support him that they would never let him go out on any limbs. Sometimes I felt that they should just give him more space to do things his way. Maybe he would have failed, but so what? He would learn form his mistakes. And maybe he would have surprised them by succeeding.

With your DD, does she have thoughts of her own about what she wants and likes? It may be that you just need to ease up: let her guide you.[/quote]

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