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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, the most important thing, IMO, is that you don't seem to be pushing your daughter to be someone she's not. As a teacher, I can't tell you the number of students I've had whose very high-achieving parents wouldn't/couldn't accept their child might be average. In fact, I had a father say that to me..."So, you're telling me my son is average," with a look of utter disdain on his face, after I told him that his son struggled to write a complete paragraph, but was social and well-liked by his peers.

On the worrisome side, you seem to be cutting off options for your DD by either assuming she can't do the job (corporate world) or the job doesn't pay enough to meet your standards. 50K is not going to keep her in high fashion and a penthouse, but plenty of people do just fine on 50k. It's not living in poverty.

Why not send her to college, see how it goes, and let her figure it out (with a little bit of guidance from you). Is there a subject she enjoys more than others, even art or music? Maybe she'll discover her passion while in college by taking new classes on topics she hasn't even considered at this point. For example, if she enjoys art she could become a graphic designer, which would be in a corporate setting but draws on a different skills et than, say, lawyer. She still needs to learn to organize/manage her work, but those are skills you can help her develop now, and should be developing in preparation for college. As an aside, have you considered two years at the local community college, followed by two years away? Or a PG year? I do believe though that there is a college for everyone and PPs had lots of good suggestions for places to look. Also recommend Manhattanville, Pace University, Quinnipiac, and Marist.

As for your request for stories, my two cousins have ADHD. One had a ton of support in high school, went away to college, and is now successfully employed in the hospitality industry. The other also suffered from social anxiety and his parents pushed him to go away for college bc that's what is "done" in our family. It was an unmitigated disaster, he only lasted one semester, bounced around for awhile and ended up in college part time while living at home and working. Took him six years to graduate but now a successful salesman at a BMW dealership (he loves cars, while in college saved all his money for a trip to the BMW factory in Germany). Last, my other cousin, a female, is in the pretty but not so smart category. She does really well in communications for a Wall Street company.[/quote]

Im glad to hear from a teacher. I don't get a lot of access to teachers!!
I honestly didn't think 50k was a liveable salary. Maybe it is... cant imagine how, but good to know! I know she does not have to live in this area, which could help.
As to pushing her to be something shes not, I am actually trying to do the exact opposite.  That's why I am looking for help on what the average kid who is not the high IQ/ivy bound kid does. I just don't know.  Does a kid who is academically pretty disinterested, who gets C's generally speaking, head to college? I don't want to let her "try it out" just so she can go party, which is all she really talks about when it comes to college. And no, she really absolutely hates school (which is based partially on the fact that she really struggles, and partially on a pretty terrible school experience to date because of her illness, juggling school has always been incredibly hard, which makes it hard to like school).  She really does not like ANY subjects, she tolerates them at best.
When the school told me her test results, I didn't react with either disdain or surprise. I live with this kid, its not hard for me to realize on my own that she's not super bright.  :)   And honestly, I know people think I am put off by her low IQ, but I swear I don't care!!!! I just am trying to guide her with little tools to do that.

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