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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think your biggest hurdle at this point is going to be breaking such a long established pattern. You've put up with this from him for so long that naturally, it is going to come as a shock to him and he will likely react badly. In the mind of a person like this, the only reason you could possibly have for wanting to change a pattern that has been "working just fine" for so long is that there is a new man in your life who is controlling you and doesn't like the competition. Maybe if you had stood up for your independence when you first separated, this would not be an issue now. Certainly the timing would have been slightly more logical than the timing of 10 years later, deciding that you are going to change things.

I think it's important for you to understand that you are in an abusive relationship with this man. Please understand that you are actually a victim. There are services that are available for victims of domestic abuse (which this is, even if he's never laid a hand on you) that can help you navigate how to extricate from this situation. There will be consequences, of course. The cozy co-parenting relationship you have with your ex (which I suspect is likely him calling the shots and you going along with his decisions) is probably going to evaporate. He may take you to court, but unless you have a separation agreement that specifically states that you're not allowed to date anyone, likely there's little he can do other than waste your time and money. The Women's Center can help you figure out the legal side of things - I would not want to give legal advice as I'm not actually a lawyer, just a lady who's been through a complicated divorce.

http://www.thewomenscenter.org/[/quote]

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