Reply to Guys, how do you feel when she says no?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never realized how deeply rejected men feel when their wives turn them down for sex until I began reading this forum.  Whenever my dh asked for sex and I said no, I never thought of it as that big of a deal.  Oh well, we'll do it next time.  Then I read this post here from a guy who described in detail how sad it made him, how it just shot down his whole self-esteem, especially when it happened over and over again.  I think it leads to some guys cheating.

Do other men feel this way?  Is it bigger for you emotionally than your wife realizes?[/quote]

DH here:  if our sex life is otherwise healthy, rejection is a non-issue; I'd actually prefer her to tell me when she is not up for it to avoid a bad experience for both of us.  When it is not healthy, though, rejection is a major issue and suggests there are serious problems with the relationship.  It's not just rejection, though.  Disengaged sex where she is clearly only doing it out of a sense of obligation is in some ways worse than being straight-up turned down.   [/quote]

Please clarify.  You let her tell you when she is not up for it?  How on earth does that work without it being a rejection?  So, ergo, how is rejection a non-issue when you rely on her rejecting you about sex?

So then, you are like the rest of us rejected husbands, including yours truly.[/quote]

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