Reply to So frustrated with not being able to know my kids grades.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]21:55 has some of the best advice I've ever read on this forum.  [/quote]

I find it difficult to believe her grades fell from straight A's to her scholarship being on probation because her parents wanted to see her grades. Makes no sense. [/quote]

When I was in college (graduated in 2008) I was on a scholarship where I had to maintain a 3.5.    Very easy to drop below this your freshman year.   I had overbearing parents and how they acted stressed me out even more and I pulled away from them considerably my first couple of years from college.[/quote]

This exactly. I was a straight A student at a challenging high school, on full academic scholarship as a college freshmen, and the pressure and drama with my parents that year made a difficult transition even worse. I had no one I could talk to, and no one giving me guidance. The pressure and the guilt of not doing as well as I always had (got a few Bs and Cs on some tests), I went into a tail spin. Cutting them off and going it alone was the best freakin decision I have ever made, but I would not wish the pain it caused my parents on anyone. You can no longer make demands of your kids like you did when they were young. Because I'm your mom/the boss is no longer a sound argument (if it ever was). If you want to know her grades, you need to change your attitude about your relationship with her. She needs to want to talk to you, and to want your advice. The fact that she doesn't does not mean she is flunking out. It could, buthonestly its her life and mistakes to make. If the money and support you give come with the strings of control, you need to be up front about it and let her choose whether dealing with you is worth the money. Be prepared to deal with the consequences if she decides that your strings aren't worth it. [/quote]

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