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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - I am one you consider a "disparager" although I am not - the yelling isn't working for you and it didn't work for me.

My kid gets mostly A's.  I'm one who focuses in inputs, not outputs.

Here's my question to you: I and my son looked over his work for the quarter and discovered that his B+ in science is partly driven by two "missed" assignments (out of maybe 40, and all tests were solid A's).  I said what I had to say about the missing assignments (at least one of which was related to clerical crap related to absences and a sub), showed the effect, and moved on.  He also got a B on an assignment he was very proud of (and had worked hard on).

My questions to you:
* What would you yell about? 
* Would you have yelled less if the math had turned out a tiny bit different and the grade rounded up to 90 instead of down to 89?  Can that difference possibly matter?

Please focus a bit less on straight A's. Some imperfection is a good thing.  To retain perfection means never taking chances (also means grading scale is too easy), never taking a course strictly for the love of learning....  Possibly never really engaging in a hobby because it detracts from memorizing vocab words...[/quote]

OP here- I wouldn't yell about the B if that was my daughter's best work.  Honestly a single "B" on an assignment isn't going to change her GPA  (she's still in elementary) as they always have a ton of assignments.  A single "B" wouldn't be on my radar either.  However if I saw a pattern of two or three non A grades then I would address the issue.

But let's take your hypothetical at face value.  If my daughter had a grade changing assignment and received a "B" on it, which caused her to end up with a "B" for the marking period, I wouldn't punish her assuming that she correctly plan for the assignment. However, if she had a full week to complete the assignment and worked her tail off the night before and earned a "B" she would get in trouble because she improperly planned.  She would have done better, been able to ask the teacher questions etc, if she had done a draft the first night rather than waiting until the night before it was due.

Instead let's hypothetically say that she really couldn't earn an "A" on that particular assignment and she had worked diligently and properly planned.  Would she get in trouble?  Absolutely not. Would we work on a corrective action plan?  Absolutely. I would work with her to focus on what that "weakness" was so that she would be able to perform better the next time.  Does she have problems organizing her thoughts?  In the case we'd buy a writing book, talk with the teacher, or would work together to do whatever it takes.

Honestly, my daughter would never be in the situation where she doesn't turn in an assignment.  There are a few times where she has forgotten to turn the assignment in and I get flagged by the online grading system and yes I get upset.  My DD would then turn the assignment in the next day.  If hypothetically the system was down and I didn't find out until after grades came out, I would be upset.  In that case, she would still turn in the assignment late despite the fact that she wouldn't receive credit.  As a side note, it is another pet peeve of mine when parents make the oh it is okay that my kid didn't turn in the assignment excuse because the assignment was clerical (i.e. unimportant).  I do a ton of things that I hate (fill out FSA/tax forms, clean my house, cook) etc and really that is part of life.

Also, the argument that a lot of parents whose kids do not earn straight A's is that kids like mine don't have time for hobbies etc.  It's really a load of hogwash.  The parents who make these arguments aren't the ones waking up at 5:00 am to take their kid to early swim, gymnastics practice.  The parents that I know who have kids who participate in extremely competitive sports generally have kids who also do well in school.  In any case, these parents are not casting dispersions on people like me as they know that much of being successful is working hard in whatever you focus on.  The ones making this argument at least from what I've seen are the same parents who complain that their kid spends too much time watching TV/ playing on their Ipads.

My daughter does extra circular activities for fun as do her straight A/almost straight A friends.  They really do have fun too.

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