Reply to What do you think about letting 17 yr old hang out alone in his room with his girlfriend?

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Reply to "What do you think about letting 17 yr old hang out alone in his room with his girlfriend?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Omg. Really OP? Talk to her mother?!?  Just grow a backbone. Tell him you expect him not to have sex in your house with his girlfriend who he will probably end up dumping. Condoms don't protect you from everything especially HPV.  I hope you did Gardasil in him or that ship has already sailed.

Who cares if they have sex in a car, on a friend's couch, in a park, etc?  They are teenagers. They will do that even if you allow them to have sex in your own house.

Be the adult here. [/quote]

Did you read 11:23 post. I think there are many good points in the post. It's not about having a backbone, it's about deciding the best way to approach this issue. Is it "who cares if they have sex in a park, just not in my house?" Frankly, that doesn't make much sense to me. The PP said that if you accept it's normal and ok for 17 yr olds in a committed relationship to have protected sex, why make them sneak around? I'm not sure what I think but it's a good point. The reason I mentioned the DD's mother is if she is very against this, it would influence my decision.[/quote]

NOOOO, do not ask the parents of the girl permission and stop worrying about the heat of the moment and such.  You do not belong in the middle of their relationship, including their sexual relationship.  You have had the important conversations, thats what a parent should do.  Beyond that you have no role.  And you should absolutely not talk to her parents.  What they discuss with their daughter is their business.  Asking their permission smacks of the very out dated and sexist idea of asking their permission to marry, only creepier because it has to do with sex and because you aren't the one doing it.  if DD's mother is against it, that is between her and her daughter.  You have no business enforcing their rules.  The mother knows that her daughter is in a relationship and can assume she knows her daughter has or will soon have sex.  How she approaches this is her business.  And think about it, the whole idea that you all have to work together to preserve this girl's virginity or whatever is pretty sexist, don't you think?

These are 17 year olds.  You have given your DS all the appropriate guidance.  [b]Now he needs privacy[/b].[/quote]

I'd like to hear about this young man's responsibilities and not just his need for privacy.[/quote]

What type of responsibilities are you referring to? chores? His job?

Are you implying that if he is responsible it's ok for him to have sex, but if he doesn't have enough responsibilities, he shouldn't have sex?
He is erratically responsible, like many 17 yr olds.[/quote]

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