Reply to Punishment doesn't seem to phase this kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So she did the household chore poorly.  Should I have said good job?[/quote]

No.  And you are right to tell her what you expect and to make sure she does it (if you want to go that far).  I have to admit, when I did dishes as a teen I never wiped the counters.  I know my mom wanted me to do it -- I guess I just wasn't thinking about it b/c I was so happy with myself for getting the dishes done.  She might have sent me back to do it on occassion, but it wasn't something she had to "teach" me to do.  I was capable of knowing how to do it without someone "teaching" me.  I just didn't do it b/c my thoughts were elsewhere and I was careless... but that's what it's like being a teen.

I know someone else whose parents always said "chip off the old block!" whenever she got an honor or good grades or something positive.  It was like the parents wanted to take credit for her work.  Don't be so quick to find mistakes.  Be more aware of letting your daughter take credit for her achievements or just anything that she has done well/satisfactorily.  It's not about you.  She is separate from you.  It's a fine line between parenting a child and controlling a child.  As parents we have to teach, correct and make decisions for our babies.  But, be mindfull that you may be crossing the line: even when you think you're complimenting her..... you're really turning the spotlight back on yourself (i.e. "what a good parent I am!").  That really undermines your child's sense of worth --- she can't do the smallest thing right without it being your accomplishment as well.  She gets the message that apparently you are the reason she does anything right and SHE is to blame for anything she does wrong.  That's not a good message. [/quote]

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