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Reply to "would you pay for college for a 30 year old?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I am the person who suggested ADD in the earlier post. The fact that he can focus when he wants to does not mean that he doesn't have ADD. One of the symptoms of ADD is that people focus very intently on things that interest them and in fact have trouble shifting their focus from that to other things. Everything you have said points to ADD. My son is a few years younger than your stepson and my son has ADD. We have been supportive and have worked with him and therapists to help him be successful in the areas where he has strengths. He never graduated from college (he also flunked classes) but he earns a six figure income and he owns a house. He is happy and in a good relationship. I know this is your stepson and not your son, but the fact that you are discussing this only as a financial issue and that you brought it to the financial section of this forum is disturbing to me. Why did he stop the Ritalin? My son tried to get off Ritalin a few years ago and almost got fired from his six figure job. He is back on Ritalin and doing fine. While most kids outgrow the hyperactivity part of ADHD they often do not outgrow the attention deficit part. Maybe ADD is over-diagnosed. I don't know. That doesn't change the fact that it sounds like your stepson needs help that he is not getting. Unfortunately, it sounds like he went through his teens and 20s without getting that help so now he is 30 and you need to deal with it now. Ignoring the issue, or cutting him off, won't make it go away. Even if you don't care about your stepson, if your husband is a normal parent he will never be totally happy as long as he sees his son struggling and that will have an impact on your marriage. [/quote]
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