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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to be extreme, but your husband ruined the martial bond for good. There is no way you and him will ever recapture what you both had before.

You will NEVER trust him EVER again and the hurt, anger + betrayal will only fester over the years.

This is from someone who was cheated on.
It doesn't happen overnight, but eventually you get to that point where you cannot stand the sight of him any longer. He just makes you ill.....[/quote]

This is one of the hardest things that married couples deal with *IF* some cheats.

I use the term naively trusting.  My partner could cheat and is very flirtatious.  Its how he is.  I accept that he does not and do not go around looking for proof that he is.  I trust him even if there are signals that I should not.  This is not based on logic this is based on an incredible level of trust that is almost naive.

In the situation of the OP that trust has been proven wrong.  However if the marriage is going to be salvaged she has to regain it.  She has to be willing to, despite all logic, be naively trusting.  The road to salvaging the marriage begins with her.  No its not fair - her husband cheated and the hardest part of saving the marriage falls on her.

However her husband has to accept that he has broken the trust and does not deserve it.  That means nothing that even looks like it could be an indiscretion or an opportunity.  No more weekends away with the boys, no more trips to Vegas, etc.  No more little meaningless flirtations at work because he has to recognize his own actions and what they have cost.

Unless they are both willing to totally commit to saving the relationship it cannot be.  Is it fair to the person who was cheated on?  Of course not.  That is why it is such a big deal.  [/quote]

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