Reply to Exhausted due to my husband's micromanagement

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[quote=Anonymous]I understand what you're experiencing. I went through the same, at the cost of self esteem and general enthusiasm for him and life. I was constantly on edge. I got tired of trying to manage his criticisms and faulting. I went to therapy and realized I was allowing the behavior by accepting it. I had a part in the situation all along.  I grew to resent him, and myself for managing him to keep the leaves. I learned he was abusive, selfish and it was about power and control. I learned no longer wanted to live like that, and I was justifying his behavior to avoid change. There was something in it for me: I got to complain to avpid taking redponsibility for situation, avoid change and act victimized. I learned what resists persists and what someone won't acknowledge, they won't change. I learned his defensiveness when I tried to assert myself was a telltale sign he was unwilling to acknowledge my feelings and consider me. I learned it was no longer good enough for me. I was allowing him to take me for granted by staying, and I gave him plenty of information that his behavior, if it continued, was a deal breaker for me. I felt I needed to preserved dignity after gaining weight from overeating from anxiety in his presence and get healthy, mentally and physically, by getting out. It was very difficult. I felt resentful, rejected, sad and scared to leave. But I did. Afterwsrds, I lost 50 pounds, gained back my confidence and self self respect, and my level of standards. I found a man who respected his woman and understands, if he wants to be happy, "even when were wrong, were right" and " you can be right, or you can be in a relationship".   He is always a little on edge about whether or not he can keep me and I spoil him rotten with appreciation and being the woman he can loft himself up to.

I wish you luck. I think your man is abudive, combative and resistant to change because there are no consequences to his unacceptable behavior toward you.  You deserve better. If you're willing to accept you have been a willing partner in his blatant disrespect of you, and that you have the power to change your circumstance, you too can have a better quality of life. VALUE YOURSELF.  You seem like a highly considerate and compassionate woman and you deserve better. [/quote]

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