Reply to What is a fair contribution from Fiance living in my house?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP oozes desperation.  A woman has to be compeletely desperate to shack up with a man like this. [/quote]

Eh, I don't know about that. It doesn't always start out like this.

You can explain some stuff away or let it slide by considering a person's circumstances. Like, it becomes reasonable for the person with the steady job to pay for dinner or pay the bills or all the rent when the other person loses their job or otherwise takes an income hit. People have expenses crop up suddenly and they don't always have the cash on hand to cover them. So the other person maybe steps up and saves the day. Over time, a dynamic emerges in which one person always volunteers to pay/help/accommodate, while the other takes advantage of that. What was once appreciating the help of your partner when times got tough becomes taking advantage.

OP, you need to leave this man. You ask if it's reasonable for him to be paying 1/4 of the monthly expenses, simply because you have 2 children? No, it is not. He is an adult. They are children. Practically speaking, they are not consuming as much as either of the adults in this situation, especially if you share custody. You say he will leave all his money to his niece, even if he marries you? What the hell!

I was very sad for you at the beginning of this thread. I know how the slippery slope can feel. You start wondering if you're crazy, then you start believing that you must be, that you either deserve this or are not seeing it clearly. Have you learned anything new in the course of this conversation with all of us out here in internetland? Listen to the words you are saying. This man is using you, disrespecting you, disrespecting your children and expecting you to be grateful for it.  [/quote]

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