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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also. Consider letting your kid fail sometimes.  He might be capable of more than you're allowing him to achieve.  He will learn a lot from trying to share space with someone, even if it's ultimately unsuccessful. [/quote]

terrible advice for a kid with autism. don't set him up to fail.[/quote]

I come from a family with several generational aspies, including my father, and I completely disagree with you.

They don't read clues and can make life difficult for themselves and everyone around them.  They have to be taught how to fail and how to regroup, many times over, so they can learn how to live in the world and have the most successful and fulfilling life possible, for them.

Sheltering them from failure without letting them fail and showing them how to regroup repeatedly sets them up for a miserable life and perhaps an explosive reaction when you aren't around and they actually face higher stakes real world failure.

That being said, I don't think a shared dorm room with 18 year olds living on their own for the first time is the best place to learn this, for him or for his roommate .[/quote]

OP here, my child is not “aspie” but level 2 autism (nearly level 1/aspie but not quite).

I worry more about his disrupting someone else’s year rather than being super upset himself. He will be clueless but it doesn’t mean someone else will be happy coping with his inflexibility and daily routines.

We are continuing to run this issue to ground but aren’t opposed to a deferral or another plan if we don’t think it’s a good fit.

The college has limited resources and I don’t underestimate their own challenges dealing with limited space and 2 people trying to decipher whose needs are priority. It’s just not ideal to be in flux. [/quote]

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